Whole Different Level

Love her voice and inflections:

Bomb.

-Bootszilla Babay;btrilogy

Natural Rose

Tomorrow I will be getting my hair pressed (or straightened as some call it). I've been rockin' a natural for about a month or longer. There's always a big discussion of what's better Relaxed vs. Natural, etc. But my main focus is Self-Love--embrace your hair, no matter what state it's in. I have "black hair"..the most unique hair on Earth (in my opinion): you can braid it, straighten it, wear it loose, wear it tight, etc. It's fun. But it's also the most fragile hair, and I found that out the hard way *sigh*.

Going Natural was so liberating. I first let my "hair loose" my first semester of Senior Year (best class EVERRRR '09 BABAY). My friends and I had fun with my hair. I got in touch with my inner Flower-Child. Also, when basketball season started, I was the fierce black girl with the fro...which my Coach pointed out after I braided it back up. She said, "What happened to the hair?! You played better when it was in a fro!"..Gosh I miss Coach.

BUT, I had no clue what I was doing when it came to taking proper care of my hair. Mainly because I never had to deal with it really--I either had it in braids or had it pressed or The Madre took care of it (in elementary school when my head was still small and cute enough to wear pigtails). Sooo, that resulted in me doing what my white/asian/mexican,etc friends and that was washing their hair EVERYDAY. I knew I didn't HAVE to wash it frequently but I didn't know I wasn't SUPPOSE to. I'm vigorous when it comes to hygeine, so I loved washing my hair...and that resulted in hairdamage...so sad. SOOO SADDD. My hair had grown to an amazing length that Summer and BAM, it was gone. Not totally gone, but it was damaged. I learned two lessons after that...1) my hair is fragile and I need to learn how to take care of it 2) I learned not to invest my worth into my hair; it's beautiful as long as it's healthy, no matter what the length.

But after that..I put my hair in braids for the rest of the year.

Just recently, first year of college, I went natural again.

And of course people had their opinions--mainly my friends and family. Or other black people! (ie. the looks that say "Girl, you need to get a hotcomb through that). But I can't say it was all negative feedback--there are a lot of girls on campus who wear their hair natural and there's much love coming from them. It's crazy how we as a people have internalized that straight and/ or "good hair" is the only acceptable hair. I enjoy my hair. I'm grateful I have a full head of hair in the first place! I've been reading up on peoples blogs and Youtubing, etc and it's restored so much confidence in me about my hair. Because as a young woman, stuff like that matters to me--it's one way of expression for me.

There's alot I could say about this, but I just wanted to focus on Growth. Growing in Confidence. It's hard being a girl nowadays. All this pressure and whatnot.

I like where I am with myself at this moment. Where I can wake up and actually look myself in the mirror and smile. Took about 18 years. And still have some Growing to do.

[This was a vague post. A post that was the product of a year's worth of scattered thought, so if you feel like I was just skimming the surface, I was.]

Enjoy these various styles I've had over the past 2 years:

Beautiful.

-Bootszilla Babay; btrilogy

Bounded

Visit P4cm.com.

Wow, only about a couple weeks ago I asked God why He wouldn't just leave me alone. I was pushin', fightin', and screamin'...and dying. I didn't realize I could have happiness and freedom through Him--I thought if I just took a break from Him, from his rules and constraints...

Wow. I had it so twisted. Because in reality I was trapped in my sins. Bounded. Forever falling further away from His Grace. This won't make sense to many, but I have this calm and I thank God My Loving Father for his Unconditional Love.

Just needed to do this post. I had a headache earlier but now it's gone and it's time to finish up some work.

Beautiful.

-Bootszilla Babay; btrilogy

When It Hurts So Bad...

When it hurts so bad

Why's it feel so good?

When it hurts so bad, when it hurts so bad

Why's it feel so good?

What you want might make you cry

And what you need might pass you by

If you don't catch it

If you don't catch it

And what you need ironically

Will turn out what you want to be

If you just let it

If you just let it

-"When It Hurts So Bad" by Lauryn Hill

Preach on L. Boogie! Preach on!

Girl's talkin about love, but you can apply this to life.

I swear at times I torture myself--be it through procrastination or denial...

I acknowledge what I have to do it's just hard to actually do it.

Mkay.

Take what you may from this.

Look forward to some original "songs" (moreso lyrics without music).

-Bootszilla Babay;btrilogy

Pfftt..

Oh, and we will be discussing this recent collaboration.

I DEFINITELY have an opinion about this.

Night*

(For real this time).

-Bootzilla Babay;btrilogy

FreeFlowin'

Just wanted to drop a quick post since I'm up. Since last week, I haven't been to bed before 1:00 in the mornin'...not okay.

Listened to a lecture today about Lady Guadalupe. Um, where the heck have I been?! I went to an all girls Catholic school (*huuushh* no need for the stereotypical comments) so I went to an all girls Catholic school, and one day my Senior year I stopped to marvel at this black (so it appeared) Virgen that was part of a mosaic piece on one of the hallway walls. Of course being me (total airhead) I was like awesomeness...Catholics are representin' *fist*Black Power! ["Is that your final answer?"..."Yes"..."I'm sorry, epic fail".]

So that holy woman depicted wasn't black (if using black offends you, forgive me...I'll just call her a sista...). What annoys me about myself at times is I'll note something, but won't follow through with it--so even at that point if I thought that Madonna was a sista, I should have researched her...

Anyways I realized that it was Lady Guadalupe as I listened to this lecture today.

And that's why today I started toying with the idea of being an Anthropologist because I love learning about other people and their culture.

This has nothing to do with the video I wanted to post...actually in a way it does because I absolutely love music (i know everyone says that but for reals..) and I'm also toying with the idea of taking a class pertaining to Ethnomusicology but I have no musical background.

Kay..that was a total rant.Gotta love it.

Enjoy this masterpiece:

Bomb&Brilliant.

-Bootzilla Babay;btrilogy

God's Word

Just read Thoughts of a White B'woy (empowering blog and don't you love how he spelled 'Boy' like B'woy..cute) and found this interesting post pertaining to Moses, Art, Biblical history, and an Ethiopian woman, click on the link below to read full post:

http://www.blackisbeautiful.se/2009/11/moses-had-black-wife.html

I took AP Art History Senior year and the only time I saw a black woman portrayed in art was as a Mammy. Wow...and we covered 2000 years of art. Wait, correction, the statues and masks from Sub-Sahara chapter could count (uhh..sike!) Well I'm excited to have seen this.Bomb.

-Bootzilla Babay; btrilogy

Double Consciousness

Just got done reading Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass, an American Slave and excerpts from W.E.B. Du Bois' Souls of Black Folks and this video came to mind:

Love American history and culture, so rich..so muddled. Imperfect but admist all of it..Bomb,Beautiful,& Brilliant.

-Bootzilla Babay; btrilogy

Shawt-ayy

I had a previous post exalting Jay-Z for calling out AutoTune. I still stand by what I wrote. What I have below is Weird Al's break down of what's happened over the last 5 years. It's hilarious and so true. Just to show you where we are in the stage of this AutoTune fade here's a link (priceless).

Enjoy.

Bomb.

-Bootzilla Babay; btrilogy

Queen Bee

She strikes again:

B slows it down a bit, indulge in the moment.

Click on the link below.

Sweet Dreams (LIVE ) - Beyoncé

Bomb&Beautiful.

-Bootzilla Babay; btrilogy

Fear

I'm such a perfectionist.

That's why I haven't posted since sometime in July..August? I don't know really.

I do know that I did start this journey in July. I was up late one summer night--in the playroom--surrounded by unfolded clothes, chillin' on the pull-out-couch, ready to go. Go. Finally just do something. To follow through. To not over think and analyze, but just to throw myself out there.

Something I don't do enough. But here I am again. This Fall Sunday evening. Surrounded by unfolded clothes, standing by my bed in my college dorm (in the dark i might add because both my roommates are sleeping)....I gotta Go. I was talking to one of my good friends and we were talking about Fear. The reason much of my life has been stagnant has been due to Fear. Fear of trying because I could easily fail; fear of loving because I could easily be hurt; fear of learning the truth because I would then have responsibility to provide change.

I am a perfectionist--I'm a Virgo, it's in my nature. But I have to realize not everything is going to be perfect. That it's just not. So I have to shine no matter what. Here's some Jazmine Sullivan to end me off right:

I'm Back.Bomb.
-Bootzilla Babay; btrilogy